Healthy, Not Wealthy and Definitely Unwise

February 21st, 2018.

Nursing and residential homes are fit to bursting as the age of mortality increases at an alarming rate. The elderly are suffering untold misery for years thanks to government policy experts say.

Following the criminalization of smoking and drinking in 2006, the population of elderly people has exploded. People are now living even longer than ever; to an average age of ninety six. Employees are working longer with the retirement age having been put up to seventy five for men and seventy for women. When once forced to stop working, pensioners now have very little money to live on following the collapse of leading private pension schemes.

The government came under fire ten years ago when the national pension pot finally ran out, although blame was difficult to apportion due to the new single party system. When Conservative and Labour policies became too similar to tell apart, the parties cut their losses and amalgamated in 2010. Nowadays, few ministers are able to be identified as being accountable for the disaster. In addition to this, the loss of the £20 billion in revenue generated annually by tobacco and alcohol sales was the final nail in the coffin of the National Health Service.

Prime Minister Victoria Beckham is set to unveil plans to encourage people to take out loans to support their elderly relatives and it is feared that some may even have to sell their homes if interest rates rise beyond the existing base rate of 25%.

Advisers are hurriedly being appointed to help, although critics slam the new system as ridiculous. "The majority of adults in this country are no longer able to think for themselves and they are just being herded around like sheep. Unfortunately for the government, whichever field the public are led to, the grass always appears to be greener in another one. As a result, fewer and fewer people have any money to speak of whilst politicians, land owners and insurance companies are getting richer and richer. And don't get me started on the bankers..." A spokesperson from The Poverty Action League said yesterday.