Thank you for purchasing the new two-speed Rover Pensioner GLX 24v turbo injection Leisuresport Coupé. We hope it will provide you with many years of carefree Sunday Driving - especially on weekdays.
This vehicle has been designed for optimum performance between the hours of eight and nine a.m. and five and six p.m. And if that’s not enough, the new satellite navigation system will ensure you never again have to miss a busy area and can even place you at the head of any potential queues.
Operating Instructions
1) Check your rear view mirror to ensure flat-cap / head-scarf is correctly adjusted.
2) Start engine and select first gear.
3) Look left and wait until oncoming traffic is clearly visible; release handbrake and quickly whip out in front of them.
4) Your Rover Pensioner should reach its top speed of forty miles per hour within approximately twenty minutes. The manufacturer has calculated that forty miles an hour is the speed required to get you to the bank in time for everyone else’s lunch break. We have also provided a designated storage space for your collection of two-penny pieces and your paying-in slip.
5) Select second gear.
6) Check rear view mirror again to ensure you are assisting a long queue of commuters to maintain a sensible speed.
7) Should any of your fellow motorists attempt an overtaking manoeuvre, your Rover Pensioner will automatically accelerate until the young whippersnapper gives in or runs out of room – whichever happens sooner.
8) On entering a thirty mile per hour speed restriction, the electronic sensors on your Rover Pensioners will automatically adjust your speed to maintain an even forty miles per hour.
9) Lane positioning worries are now a thing of the past with the new Targeted Heads-up Display – our patented THuD system. In any potentially confusing, multi-direction choice scenario, the THuD will project a target on your windscreen to indicate the exit you need. Simply turn your steering-wheel in the desired direction and go!
10) When approaching your destination, remember to observe for yellow stripes painted on the road alongside the kerb. These lines indicate reserved parking areas for drivers of the Rover Pensioner.
11) When once you have located your parking space, you may apply the brake (the pedal in the middle). The electronic sensors will again adjust your speed – in this instance, you can be rest-assured that the Rover Pensioner can perform a breathtaking 40 – 0 within 3.76 seconds.
12) Note down the insurance details of the motorist who was in collision with your vehicle as a result of driving too close.
